Falling

pix by ~kelceigh

I would like to dedicate this poem to someone that makes my life in the so terrible. I hate you and I hope you understand. O, I forgot! You'll never understand coz u just don't want to. Or maybe you're just stupid.

Falling.
To death.
To nothing.
To empty spaces.
To no where.

Whirling endlessly into a cascade of darkness,
Where love can no longer harness.
Where breathe cannot be held,
Air that cannot be breathed.
I am speechless

Dying.
To nothing.
To fragile.
To stillness.
To death.

Falling for eternity, forgetting how to fly.
Only wishing you could just die.
Wishing to be an angel, to spread heavenly wings,
Only to be bit by silence, deaths sting.

Go away to nothing, live to no where.
Watching life go by, giving a blank stare.
I loved you with everything, all that I had,
But I have let you down, I made you mad.

Forever trapped in eternities darkness.
Without a reason.
Locked away.
Without a key.
Lonely.

♥areed razman♥

24

happy bday to me!

rapuh

sorry guys. i have no moods to update this blog for this period of time. kinda busy with study and work. so now, lets read one of my fav poem written by ME! hihihi. slmt hr ry! =)


ku lihat dia ada di sana.

kabur.

berkecai jadi serpihan debu lalu hilang dalam waktu




ku pegang tirai yang menutupinya.

rapuh.

bertaburan menjadi serbuk-serbuk halus

lalu hilang di sebalik kabus jingga




ku renung jari jemariku.

kaku.

dikotori debu yang tak ingin pergi

terus melekat ingin ke hati




jawapan-jawapan yang aku dengar bukan sabda

dan dewa pula tak muncul tiba

apa yang aku percaya

hanya hati bisa kuatkan

Yasmin Ahmad

Since the day she gone, my tears still there every night before I lay my head to sleep. She's such an angel in my heart. She's inspire me so much through her works. Her films are artworks that stand on its own level (even though she always said that her films is not art films).

I still remember the first time I met her. The glow in her smile makes me believe that she's as wonderful as I imagine. It is true when people say that we can see great soul through a person's eyes. I don't know her personally but when I am looking at her at the first time, it is as if I know her all of my life. She speaks with her works and it came through to me as an inspiration, entertainment, advice and good example. All at the same time.

Years ago, I wrote this post called ' 2 Pakcik, Amani and Muallaf'. She immediately email me as soon as she read it. She told me that she love it and want us to meet so that she can arrange some time for me to watch muallaf. But sadly, her busy schedule makes the plan been postponed for several times. Till now I still haven't watch that film which the trailer already makes my heart shiver. But I am glad that I got the chance to meet this wonderful person and share thoughts with her. She also like my shortfilm Dia yang Sepi.

Now, she's gone to the after life. But she will always stay in hearts not just mine but everybody that have been inspired by her wonderful works and persona.

"Ya Allah, tempatkanlah Yasmin Ahmad bersama-sama orang yang beriman. Amin." Al Fatihah.

Al-Fatihah

I got sms from my friend shaza and yusuf told me that she just passed away (now is 12.20 am, July 26 2009). I don't want to cry but I can't control the tears. This is one of the saddest day in my entire life. I am heartbroken. I am sad. But I pray that Allah will bless her.

YASMIN AHMAD

"a filmmaker, a storyteller, an idol, an inspiration"

beautiful voices

O they have great voices! I love them! So much, it's almost envy. I wish I could have their voice.

This is Joshua Radin. Yes, the guy that sing at Ellen Degeneres' Wedding.
check out his webbie joshuaradin.com



and here we have Alex Serra singing my new favourite song, cry me a river. o Gosh!



click here to see more of Alex Serra

the death of a king

Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009)

"The world has lost a great performer and entertainer. Though he's normally misunderstood, we the fans felt close to him. His songs, lyrics, moves, videos and ideology are held closely dear in our hearts and minds. A legend, he is always be..." -Helmi Deris (via sms)

Goodbye ordinary MJ, Hello Ultimate Legend of POP! =)

We will always love you.

darkest shade of lights

pix by =monstermagnet

in the darkest shade i saw the light
shimmer without a fight
i pray for the summer to tear me apart
but winter kept coming over into my heart

fragile in the darkest shade of lights
i lay down and try not to hide
walking down the misery lane
throttling the feelings of pain

looking at the sprinkles of time
i could hear the songs and chime
till the hours and time stood still
realise singing without my will.

♥areed razman♥

pasta party

Sardinia seafood pasta by yusuf. yummy! =)

I have a blast weekend last week. I went to my friend, Yusuf's house and we cook pasta together. There's only two of us but we cooked 5 pasta recipes. It's a total pasta party. hahaha. Yusuf just came back from backpaking in Italy last month, so he's so into pasta now. Lucky for him, I am forever a pasta lover.

This week is gonna be very hectic for me. I have to submit 13 episodes script treatment for a DIY show by to morrow! 13???!! and each episode have 3 segments. (sigh!) I have to be strong. On wednesday, I'll have a meeting at RTM discussing on the script. On Thursday and Friday, work as usual. On Saturday it's my master registration day. On maonday next week, I have to cook on a TV show call "apa apa aje". I'll show them how to make my famous Baked macaroni with mushroom. Make sure all the viewer and the host (Amy mastura) drooling. hahaha

it's june!

pix by ~lokator

One of my resolutions this year is to update my blog as frequent as possible. But now, it's already June and still I am not writing as much as I wanted. (sigh!) For some of you that already know, i have lots of things running in mind and its always stay there. Some of them maybe have been forgotten. haha.

I have to admit that I AM a dreamer. And I always dream big. But it seems like the world did not return the favor yet. Maybe I do not done enough, but deep inside my heart I already know that I've tried my best in everything that I dream. Maybe it's not my time yet. The day will come someday. I believe that. Insyaallah.

drama

pix by: ~SelfTitledNightmare

Drama, drama and more drama! I hate drama! Can people just be nice to each other and forget all the drama that actually made by themselves? Haiya! Maybe life would be suck without all the drama, but I still hate it!

When 2 of your girl friends had a fight, u got stuck in the middle. Eventhough they tried to make sure that we're not involve in their drama, either we like it or not, we're ARE affected! O shit. I hate this. Please girls! grow up! Please stop calling other people friend-stealer, please stop hating other people, please forgive and try to forget and please quit from all the stupid drama. (U know who(s) u are, so faham-faham je la!)

Forgiveness is the best revenge. Plus, you girls have great memories together. Don't throw it away just like that. Your friendship worth more than that.

Yay to me!

Yay to me, my 1st choice for American Idol and Akademi Fantasia won the show! Congrats to the very talented Kris Allen and Hafiz. Lurve them so much!


this my favourite Hafiz performance.

and Heartless by Kris Allen is haunting!!!

yadiaya

I am cured now! Alhamdulillah. Thanx to all my friends that keep asking about my condition. I am back to normal now eventhough I still sometimes can feel the sore in my right ear.

Forget about that, I got great news people!! I am officially offered to further my studies for master in UiTM starting July. So, in a month I am Back to school! Yey! I got this new hobby now, which is drawing using magic pen. Above is my recent artwork. hope u guys love it! =)

cuti sakit

pix by :`Gwarf

I am in pain! Got this

infection call Otitis media.

Otitis media is inflammation of the middle ear, or middle ear infection (the word otitis is Greek and it means “inflammation of the ear”, and media means middle).

Otitis media occurs in the area between the ear drum (the end of the outer ear) and the inner ear, including a duct known as the Eustachian tube. It is one of the two categories of ear inflammation that can underly what is commonly called an earache, the other being otitis externa. Diseases other than ear infections can also cause ear pain, including cancers of any structure that shares nerve supply with the ear.

more...

Aaarrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!

i know!

I know! It's been a while kan!? huhuhu... Busy3x!

My friend, Yusuf just got back from Italy. He had a long (3 weeks) vacation with his little brother. Kinda cool kan? Two guys backpacking across Italy. Kudos guys! Thanks for all the great stories and pictures of Italy. It's great to know Italy more than just the usual beautiful Venice and Rome. I am in love with that country now! And the cheese that you bought me from the land of Sardinia is the best cheese I ever had! Wish one day I'll reach that place.

My other friend, Farhan is back in KL now and as usual, when he's around, I am officially damn busy! He's getting married end of this year so we have to make some preparation for his small yet classy wedding party. (Attn Hakim, You're voted to be his best-man! Congrats!)

Last week I went for an interview at Uitm (Art and Design Faculty) for my masters application. I think I am tru. It's not that tough (the interview) and maybe it's just for formality. So, around July, I AM A STUDENT again! (Yey! & Sigh!) Masters in Art and Design (Visual Communication and New Media). Sounds interesting kan?! Ok la tu, dari course kat UM yang boring tu, Masters in Publishing.... (Sorry UM! Boring!)

For this year AIM, I am totally bored and sick of the nomination. Malas nak tulis pasal AIM this year! Kenapa dorg x suka Nikki? Haish! But, if you really want to know what I think of AIM this year, just read what my friend pijan wrote on his blog. Quite precise.

click here for AIM 2009 review by hafizanmohd

sempurna

pix by monstermagnet

I don’t really know what is happening to me recently. In this last 1 month I am always tired. Maybe I am really tired. Running my dad stationary shop is not as easy as you may imagine. It’s tiring!! And sometime I just felt so sick with all the rude and kick a** customer. Hate them! (don’t come to my shop! I don’t need your cheap money)

About my novel, “Senyuman yang sempurna”. It’s still on the way. I just wrote around 50 pages, so I don’t think I can complete the novel anytime soon. The thing is, I already know the basic story. It’s a good story I promise. It also have good sub plot. But, I just can’t find the strength to actually write the story. Sorry, I disappoint myself too! Huhuhu.

Some of my friends ask me what is the novel about. So, here is the answer. It’s a love story. To be specific, it’s a teenage love story. I imagine, my teen girl cousins will love this story I wrote. But at the same time, the core of the message is quite deep. =)

This is the synopsis of the story. I can’t tell you everything. But this synopsis may give you some ideas what’s the story is all about. I wrote the story in Malay language, so the synopsis is in malay-lah! =)

Senyuman yang sempurna

Syami kehilangan ibunya. Ibunya menyahut seruan illahi. Syami menderita. Namun dia akan lebih menderita jika ibunya terus menderita akibat kanser itu. Ya, kanser itu membunuh ibunya.

“Senyumlah dengan sempurna…” adalah amanat terakhir ibu Syami sebelum dia pergi. Namun amanat itu bukan untuk Syami. Tetapi untuk seorang insan bernama Dani. Dalam pencarian Syami mencari erti sebenar amanat ibunya dan cubaan untuk mendekati jejaka istimewa bernama Dani, Syami jatuh hati pada Dani. Dani seorang anak muda yang baik, tampan, berkarisma dan mempunyai prinsip hala tuju hidup yang kukuh.

Apakah makna sebenar amanat ibu? Adakah Syami dan Dani akan menjadi kekasih? Nantikan novel cinta remaja pertama karya Areed Razman.

aku & sepi

pix by: gilad

aku dan sepi berlari-lari di kaki pelangi
mengharap hujan tidak singgah

berdoa mentari tidak kembali

sekian lama sepi memeluk jiwaku

hingga jiwa terasa bagaikan satu

hingga aku senang bersamanya

meniti hari tanpa pelangi

kabus gelap bergaul rancak dengan listrik api

kami berdoa mereka pergi

agar kami mampu kembali

meniti hari tanpa pelangi

♥areed razman♥

fly on angel wings

You fly on angel wing
On angel wings into the sky
I cry on angel wings
Because those angel wings took you away
Is there no such lovely thing?
On angel wings you fly away.
I will see these angel wings again someday
When i am old and my time has come
On angel wings I will fly
Until I'm holding you once again
Smiling on angel wings.

♥areed razman♥

Afgan

I know it is kind of late to write about this singer. But today, Afgan just accept me as a friend at facebook and I feel damn jolly fun! I don’t want to review this album directly like I used to. Let me share the story about me and Afgan (ceh, cam dia kenal je aku ni)

Once upon a time, (giggle) my best friend Pijan put a very interesting song on his Myspace page. It’s call “Betapa aku cinta padamu” by Afgan. I have no idea how this Afgan look like but straightly I fall in love with his soulful-deep beautiful voice. Plus, the song is damn good. I always love songs like that. It has the jazzy vibe. Then, I try to Google Afgan and sadly, unexpectedly the internet server was down.

Then, for a few weeks, I almost forgot about Afgan until my friend Farhan email me all the way from Australia and send me 4 of Afgan songs. So I continue listening to his voice without looking at his face yet. The songs that Farhan send me are Betapa aku cinta padamu, Entah, Terima Kasih Cinta and Sadis.

Seriously, I am literally in awe. I can’t describe the feelings. His voice makes my heart shiver. A part of my heart wishes I have his voice. I may sound ridiculous or over the top but this is what really happened after I heard all this 4 songs. After that ‘awe’ moment, then I get to sit on the computer and Google, Youtube and Myspace search this talented singer.

At last I can put a face on the great voice I heard. Damn! I am surprise. This can’t be true. He’s a kid! Seriously! That’s my first impression. Maybe, if I know how he looks like before even listening to his voice, I may not like him this much. I have a thing with good looking singers’ especially male singers. If you’re too jambu, I may not like you! But then, I have to admit that Afgan is more than just a pretty face singer.

After along wait, one day I heard his song “Terima Kasih Cinta” was played at Malaysia’s radio. Suria.fm is the first to play it. At that time, nobody knows Afgan yet. So I and my bff Airien have big hopes for Afgan to conquer Malaysian market. Suddenly, in short period of time, Afgan is on Radio Era and Hot.fm. There are a little bit worries in our heart. We are scared that if Afgan get to be really big in Malaysia, we will loose him. (Like what happened between me and Peterpan. Ceh!)

One day, I got the big news from Airien that Afgan is coming to Malaysia to promote his debut album. By that time, I already have all of his songs (Airien download it for me). You have to remember that at this moment, his album is not release in Malaysia market yet. So we have no choice. We have to download it! I am so excited to have that album even though I already know all the song by heart. My favorite songs at that time are Entah, Klise, Shanti Lussy and I.L.U.

So the day that I’ve been waiting for finally arrive. On that day, Airien come straight from work with her heels (she wear it to meet Afgan). I come all the way from Bangi (It’s almost a one hour train ride!). We met at Bukit Bintang.

We are so relieved when we saw there are not so much people at Sungei Wang that day. (Alhamdulillah!). Straightly, we’re the first people that actually buy the cd. Watching Afgan singing live is a dream comes true for Airien and me. Gosh! I can even describe the feelings! Can’t wait for his next album! Afgan, If you come to Malaysia again, please don't forget about me, Airien and Pijan. We love you before you even exist here! =)

Hawa by Nikki

Hawa by Nikki

I’ve been waiting for this album and finally it has arrive! Nikki debut album, Maharani is a great album and I have big hopes for this second album. Luckily, I am satisfied! At my first sight, I fall in love with this album. The cover is so beautiful. Just like a fairytale book. Now, lets go to the songs in it, one song at a time.

CANTIK (Audi Mok / Amylea)
This song started with a very fresh sound. It has the commercial value and very radio friendly. But the melody is a little bit similar to the song TIGA by Dayang (also by Audi Mok). But I don’t really care. This is a good song. ****

TAK PERLU (Audi Mok, Faizal Tahir / Rafidah Abdullah)
A song that straightly capture my ears! I like the lyrics. Sound cheeky and cute. Song like this needs that kind of lyric so that it can compliment each other. Very original. ****

SELAMAT TINGGAL (Pam Yuen / Imran)
When Nikki performed this song at Jomheboh, I straightly fall in love with it. It’s a pop-ballad that is so fresh musically and lyrically. I like Nikki’s voice in this song especially on the verse. Nikki should sing like this more often! Great! *****

HAWA (Kieran Kuek / Mode)
I like the beat and melody. It’s catchy. I have to listen a few times to actually like this song. Now I did! And the lyric is great. ***

BABY BABY (Nurfatima /Nikki)
Honestly, to me this song sounds a little bit ordinary either from the song or lyric. I am not saying it is a bad thing, but it a little bit what I’ve aspect from Nurfatima. If this song is sang by other singer, I may just pass. **1/2

OH! MY (Audi Mok / Ad Samad)
I heart this song! My favourite track from this album. The tango mood makes the song so fun. It added my respect to Audi. He is so versatile. Lyric by Ad Samad doesn’t need any question. He’s the next Loloq. *****

BELASMU (Kieran Kuek / Mode)
Yes. This song is so the current Mariah Carey. Basically it’s about peace and love. Songs like this never failed me. ****

RELAKAN (Audi Mok / Nur Fatima)
I am in love with this song even though its sound so Jordin Sparks (listen to Tattoo or One step at a time). This song sound ordinary but I have fun. Love it! ****

SEMALAM DAN SEBELUMNYA (Audi Mok / Ad Samad)
So Brian Mcknight! I love the lyric! Obviously, one of my favorite tracks in this album. ****

BETARA SUKMA (Audi Mok / Ad Samad)
I don’t why; this song reminds me to Bjork. Absurd but still great!

CINTA (Audi Mok / Azalea)
A beautiful song. The melody is magical and the lyric is great and poetic. I like this line.
“Cinta, mengapakah tak tenteram? Termenung di waktu malam. Seorang meratib sabda bagaikan pungguk rindukan bulan.” *****

Congrats to every single person that’s involved in this great album. Hopefully this album will get some appreciation from the local music industry, media and fans. I also hope that other singers in Malaysia can take this album as an example. I am tired to actually listen to radio nowadays. Most of Malaysia’s top song now sound so plain and ordinary and sometimes not original. This album is surely fresh! With a combination of great production and a very good singer, this album is a must have!
****

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

The original story of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is only a 52 pages story. In most hand, this story would be a total snooze fest. Instead, David Fincher (Se7en and Fight Club) manages to adapt the short story into an epic masterpiece that deserves to be considered by every movie lovers. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt) is one unusual circumstance.

The story follows an ordinary man that trapped by a not so ordinary condition. Benjamin Button is born the size of an average baby but with a white hair and a face full of wrinkles. He basically is born in his 80’s and age backward each year. As an abnormal child, he is abandoned by his own parents, was raised in a nursing home where he meets Daisy (Cate Blanchett) a normal girl. Benjamin and Daisy proceed with a relationship their age equalize for a short time. Despite being soul mates, their bodies will inevitably lose the race against time.

Appearing in almost every scene, Pitt makes full of his talents to show Benjamin’s progression from naïve to experience, emotionally and physically. Fincher done a good job on stringings together Pitt and Blanchett’s meticulously precise performance, to construct a damn good masterpiece. While I love this movie, it feels a little too draggy at the beginning and the middle of the movie especially all the scene when Benjamin is working on the boat. But my conclusion of this movie is, it is a masterpiece that is disturbing, heartfelt and magical. Surely not a movie that get made everyday.

****1/2

Revolutionary Road

Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio are trapped in a world of conservative convention and they hope to defy constructed ideals and seek refuge in their love to each other. That’s the story in James Cameron’s Titanic. But this time, in this movie directed by Sam Mendes (Winslet’s husband), Revolutionary Road, they reunite to play star-crossed lovers again. This time, what keeps them trapped is not a tragedy of a ship, but it’s their marriage. Based on the acclaimed novel by Richard Yates, Academy Award winning director Sam Mendes, Revolutionary Road is set in 1955 and follows a couple trying to find fulfillment in an era of strict conformity. They have given up their dreams to live in a life that’s common to others expectation on that era.

April (Winslet) has given up her dream to be an actress to stay at home a play the role of cliché a suburbia mother and wife. Frank (DiCaprio) becomes one of thousands of other men that wear drab suits who sit in a cubicle everyday. One day April realizes that when she first met Frank, this is not the life that she ever imagines. Frank to her is so unpredictable and fun. But now, their life seems like to dull. She then comes with the idea to impulsively move to Paris and start a new life. Frank totally happy with idea and they makes plan to achieve their dream-ideal life. Their marriage continues to disintegrate as their plan to escape is cancel by Frank when he suddenly gets a big promotion at work. April is devastated with Frank decision and then makes her decision that will make Frank feel sorry for the rest of his life.

This is totally not a movie that you want to watch on a date. It’s not a love story that brings love to the mood but it is more on a movie that tell you to follow your dream. It is a great study of reality behind the façade of marital bliss. I love this story so much. More on the story, I am officially in love with Richard Yates. This story moves me. It makes me realize that in our life, it’s important to achieve your dreams. Winslet really deserve her Golden Globe on this movie. Maybe an Oscar would be nice. I am surprise that DiCaprio is not nominated in the Academy Award this year. It’s like a conspiracy is going on out there. Watch this movie and you’ll understand why I love DiCaprio so much in this movie. His expression is out of the world. I hope this movie will score at Academy Award at least for one award. I cross my finger to see this movie won Best Adaptation Screenplay. Last, for all of you that are a Valentine’s Day skeptic, I recommend this movie.

****1/2

2009

pix by ~lagartotxpx

This is officially my 1st post in 2009! Yey! At last I can spare my time to write! Currently I am damn busy with work. Alhamdullilah, some of my 2008's resolution have come true! Part of it, I have achieved what I planned in 2008. It's a wonderful year! Its seems like my last year resolution is not that hard to achieve. Last year, I want to grad with good grade (Done! 3.5 baby!), be more patient, less complaining and more work.

This year resolution is not that simple. Finally, I am ready to loose A LOT of weight! That's my 2009's resolution. I want to get out around 50 kg fat from me and be a new person by the end of 2009. Insyallah, I can!!!! Pray for me!

Currently I am busy writing my first novel. Some people from a well-known publishing house interested to publish my first book. So, I have to motivate myself to write! The novel is called 'Senyuman Yang Sempurna'.